My own question...

Something that is constantly on my mind, which I'm sure it's on many other minds as well. My husband isn't saved and constantly I have on my mind of him never getting saved or if he dies before he gets saved...and it saddens me to no end.

I met my husband October 2008 at a friend's birthday party. I actually was friends with his brother, but had never really gotten to know him. The first time I met him it was a name introduction and he was gone...so this time was different. It turned out there was drinking at this party which upset me since I'm not that kind of girl. So since I lived a couple of houses down I walked home with my brother and grabbed a book and walked back, since my sister was still there. Just imagine this...the one weird girl who's at a party sitting by herself and reading a book... It's okay you can laugh. It's rather funny. So I had seen him the whole night and maybe said something to him at one point, but when he saw me with the book he decided I was worth talking to. So we began our talking and it was as if a spark had ignited in me. I invited him to my house and we talked and I'm not going to say our whole relationship was right... but he ended up spending the next day with me as well. He was very charming and honestly...he pulled all the quirky lines, but it was adorable.

The next night his brother called me to see if I would double date with his brother. At this point I was out with people and when I finally made it home I had to make the decision of wanting to pursue this relationship or not. If I wanted a boyfriend or not... and I decided to take the plunge and go. I don't regret it one bit.

At the time I thought my husband did believe in God... I'm not sure why I thought so, but I did. So I kept slowly talking to him about to see what he believed, but as time progressed there was no way I could back out of the relationship. I loved him dearly. He was the first man that I had truly gotten close to...the first that I could honestly sit down and talk to without freaking out with being nervous. I had an amazing connection with this man. I had also given myself completely to him...I had sex with him. I know I shouldn't have with how I believed, but I gave into my sinful nature. I regret not holding onto my virginity until I married him, but I don't regret it either, since I have my beautiful baby girl.

He's my best friend and I love spending my life with him. Even during the time of my dating him, marrying him, and during my pregnancy I never thought about him not being saved and dwelling on hell. But after my daughter was born and the week I brought her home...it hit me right in the face and I was ridden with depression. I would just cry and couldn't stop thinking of how awful hell is and how awful if he were to go there. I also thought the same of my daughter, yet I know she's just a baby and can't make her choice yet and well she'll grown under my teachings. My husband has had a hard life and he just doesn't believe God is there. I'm much better with the depression because I decide I needed to have hope and try and help him see on a daily basis. Yet it's so hard and I'm so scared. It's a scary thought and that's why we should honestly all sit down and think of our loved one who aren't saved and not just that but anybody...we don't want others to go to hell...why should we keep God's love from them?

So my question is how do you help them to see? How do you help your husband/wife to see? Your child? Your family? whoever?

Things to Ponder

-Linus(Ben):Because he's the only one that'll have me.
-Ilana: I'll have you.
Lost is one of my favorite shows and if you don't know this season is the last season where you find out all the answers. Well Locke (not really the real Locke) is the bad guy and Linus is saying that he's the only one who will take him. Linus killed Jacob, the good guy, because he was angry and that was Ilana's father like figure. So she's angry with Linus and wants him dead. So after Linus tells her that the bad guy is the only person who will have him, she says the most profound thing I've heard in a long time, "I'll have you."

I found such a statement to strike my very core. Isn't this what we do on a daily basis. We do things that go against God and think that no one will take us in or have us, not even God. So we turn away which means we end up turning to the one, Satan, who does want to truly help us or have us. We turn to his ways, sins, and turn away from God. Yet even though we've done the worst thing possible, God will still have us, just as Ilana would still have Linus. How profound! This is how God truly is with each one of us. He'll have us no matter what and He'll take us in, we just have to turn to Him and let Him.

Another scene from another show, but I saw it on Lost was from Little House on the Prairie.
-Mr. Ingalls: It's the way you live this live, each day one at a time. Now you it you spend your whole life worrying about something that's gonna happen. Before you know your life's over and you spent an awful lot of just worrying.
What truth is in this statement. I found this to be very important in my life. I can't spend my time worrying about the different things in my life and what might happen and might not. I can't spend my time worrying that my husband might die before he gets saved or what if he never gets saved, the same with my daughter. I can't spend my life worrying about such things because then I will miss all the times with my family and sharing God in any way possible. So I must learn to trust God with my husband and daughter and trust that they will find Jesus along the way. Which I'm sure is a lesson for us all.

So I'm beginning the day wondering if my husband will get that call. As of now my husband is without a job and I'm hoping today he'll receive that call for a job. No, I'm not thinking this everyday but we were told that he could get a call today, so I'm hoping. I'm hoping that God will send it our way and that he will finally get job. I guess will see, though. I honestly can't wait 'til Shon gets a job. I'm going to miss having him around, but it will be nice having a source of income again that will constantly be coming in. Shon and I can help pay for things and we can work at getting some stuff that we'd like to get. But I guess it just takes some time. So hmmm... I need some topics...

A New Beginning

Well a couple of weeks ago I came to the conclusion that God wants me to share my advice with people. A friend told to me to start a blog and starting it up that way. I hope to eventually write books and such, but for now I'm going to start here and try and build up. So... things have really changed for me in a little over a year, well a I guess a year and a half.

It's amazing I go from not having a boyfriend to having one in one weeks time. Then several months later I find that I'm pregnant. Things, obviously changed in my life. My husband and I tied the knot in May of '09. October '09 it had been a year that my husband and I had been together and this coming May will be our anniversary. My daughter is almost 6 months old and just cute as can be and I couldn't be happier. I love being a mom and a wife and even though it came early and not exactly in the right order, I'm still so happy for the gifts I've been given.

I'm hoping to share my story and my advice in these blogs and hopefully reach out to many young people and mabye even older people, who will listen. I want to share God's love with others. I noticed one day that while talking to my brother and giving advice that this is what God wants me to do. As I was talking to him I realized something just took over me and it was no longer me truly speaking, it was God using me. So I hope He'll bless this blog and that I can reach all of you out there and hopefully spread my wings and write books, paint pictures, and maybe even start my own business, who knows.

So I hope you all will join and take my words to heart.

With love from Christ,
Bianca