Something that is constantly on my mind, which I'm sure it's on many other minds as well. My husband isn't saved and constantly I have on my mind of him never getting saved or if he dies before he gets saved...and it saddens me to no end.
I met my husband October 2008 at a friend's birthday party. I actually was friends with his brother, but had never really gotten to know him. The first time I met him it was a name introduction and he was gone...so this time was different. It turned out there was drinking at this party which upset me since I'm not that kind of girl. So since I lived a couple of houses down I walked home with my brother and grabbed a book and walked back, since my sister was still there. Just imagine this...the one weird girl who's at a party sitting by herself and reading a book... It's okay you can laugh. It's rather funny. So I had seen him the whole night and maybe said something to him at one point, but when he saw me with the book he decided I was worth talking to. So we began our talking and it was as if a spark had ignited in me. I invited him to my house and we talked and I'm not going to say our whole relationship was right... but he ended up spending the next day with me as well. He was very charming and honestly...he pulled all the quirky lines, but it was adorable.
The next night his brother called me to see if I would double date with his brother. At this point I was out with people and when I finally made it home I had to make the decision of wanting to pursue this relationship or not. If I wanted a boyfriend or not... and I decided to take the plunge and go. I don't regret it one bit.
At the time I thought my husband did believe in God... I'm not sure why I thought so, but I did. So I kept slowly talking to him about to see what he believed, but as time progressed there was no way I could back out of the relationship. I loved him dearly. He was the first man that I had truly gotten close to...the first that I could honestly sit down and talk to without freaking out with being nervous. I had an amazing connection with this man. I had also given myself completely to him...I had sex with him. I know I shouldn't have with how I believed, but I gave into my sinful nature. I regret not holding onto my virginity until I married him, but I don't regret it either, since I have my beautiful baby girl.
He's my best friend and I love spending my life with him. Even during the time of my dating him, marrying him, and during my pregnancy I never thought about him not being saved and dwelling on hell. But after my daughter was born and the week I brought her home...it hit me right in the face and I was ridden with depression. I would just cry and couldn't stop thinking of how awful hell is and how awful if he were to go there. I also thought the same of my daughter, yet I know she's just a baby and can't make her choice yet and well she'll grown under my teachings. My husband has had a hard life and he just doesn't believe God is there. I'm much better with the depression because I decide I needed to have hope and try and help him see on a daily basis. Yet it's so hard and I'm so scared. It's a scary thought and that's why we should honestly all sit down and think of our loved one who aren't saved and not just that but anybody...we don't want others to go to hell...why should we keep God's love from them?
So my question is how do you help them to see? How do you help your husband/wife to see? Your child? Your family? whoever?
Hmm...
ReplyDeleteI go by actions speak louder then words...
Its hard to not get upset/depressed when you think about hell, and about people who don't believe...
From the sounds of it, sounds like you and your husband probably have discussed this before...
I would just say pray, pray without ceasing. And remember you aren't the one who does the saving..Its God. Its between him and God. You can plant the seeds, and water them..but its up to your husband to let them grow to become something more...
Have you tried talking to a pastor about this?
Perhaps you guys could join like a young married couple's group or some such thing? Just a thought...
<333
~Liz
Thanks for commenting Liz. :] Yes Shon and I talk a lot about God and I told him of my fears and such and I tell him all kinds of things about God and the Bible. He listens and he'll talk about it...he just doesn't believe God exists. So I must keep praying like you said and let God work. I would like to do a young marriend couples class but there is no way Shon would do such a thing. I'm trying to get him to go to Easter Service... so we'll see. He went last year.. so maybe. :] Franky it takes a lot of hope and patience and I must say that's extremely scary. The constant wondering of what might happen and I have to force those what ifs from my mind every time and just trust God... so thank you so much for the encouragment... I needed it.
ReplyDeleteI think Love is a big thing here you need to show him you love him in spite of everything, unconditionally . has he ever been to church or anything before ? or might just see or hear about denominations fighting and such and that is always hard to see christians getting along. and pray of course. hope it all goes well.
ReplyDeleteI believe the more you push something onto a person the more they push back.
ReplyDeleteThis is going to sound like tough love but you know Bianca I love you. Unfortunately you made the decision to have a sexual relationship with a boy who you didn't really know at the time so, now you have to live with the decisions both of you made. (You know this) So you can't make Shon believe in something he does not but, you can show him how much love you have for him and be there and listen to his fears or question why he doesn't believe in God. With that said ... Shon should at least try going to church with you and make up his own mind about his faith. Shon should do this for you. This is called compromise. In a marriage or relationship it's important to have this. How does he feel about Kaeyln being saved?
Bianca don't be depressed about the situation. God will handle this, it might not be today or a year from now but you have faith and it will happen in the way it's meant to be. (Also you could have been experiencing a little bit of the baby blues.) I love you sweetie, hang in there and enjoy every minute with your daughter and family.
Vikki
:] Thanks Vikki. I love you too. Yes you are so right I decided to have that sexual relationship with an unsaved man and without being married and along with it came the consequences... and I have to say that having someone so close to you such as your husband and them not being saved is the worse thing ever. But you are probably right...the baby blues probably did have an affect on it. haha... but Shon and I talk a lot about God and how I believe and what Kaelyn is going to learn...and for the most part he's okay with Kaelyn believed about God and I think he's okay with her getting saved when she decideds. I kind of take it slowly so I don't force it on him or upset him or anything.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to get him to come to church and well frankly I think I've come to realize that when you're saved and you love the Lord it causes you to love differently and to understand your partner better...at least that's what I'm thinking...but I think I'm realizing that marrying someone who doesn't have these things..well it makes it much harder than what I thought it did. I mean I knew that you're not suppose to be unqually yoked...but I guess I never thought of how difficult it really would be... I mean I loves Shon dearly I guess I get frustrated because he doesn't see things the way I do and how you should love and compromise... I'm hoping I can get him to come to church at least every now and then and maybe work up eventually. So if I can get him to go to Easter service that would be awesome! Frankly I hate going without him because I feel stupid and I look stupid because I look like a really young girl who isn't married and has a baby. Which part of it is right... but I am 20 and I am married and like for people to realize it. ugh... It's definitely tough, but like you said I have to have faith, trust, and patience... and lots of love. :] So thank you so much for the encouragment I do need it.
and Barb.. he went last year for Easter service... haha.. but he's had a couple of bad experiences with religion and kind of went with one for a little bit and then threw it out the window with a bad experience and when he was introduced to science... and their ways of thinking the world happened... well he went with it. so now he doesn't believe God exists and seems to always have something to say against what I say. So hmmm.. I don't know.
I guess I'm just wanting the satisfaction of knowing he's saved now! and it's so hard waiting...but patience and trust and faith.. must remember. :]