It has finally come...the day one of my daughters need to have a surgery. Part of me hoped I would never have to deal with it, but the other part of me never really thought about that day coming and so soon.
I had a slight scare when Kaelyn broke her arm... in that she could possibly get a surgery to fix it depending if pushing it back in place didn't work. Thank God it worked. Which brings up another scare of when your child breaks a bone. So I guess I have 2 scares on my list that I've now already encountered. Whew... this kid is working me.
I'll start with the arm. Kaelyn was playing on the couch and ended up falling on the tile floor. She told us she was being Superman, although I secretly knew she was being Spiderman, but kept getting it wrong. (They had just gotten some Spiderman toys from McD's, so I knew.) Anyways, she ended up breaking her arm in 2 different spots. The doctor (a phenomenal one at that) had to push it back in place. Now by this point Kaelyn was acting completely fine. She had broken it the night before and hadn't cried that much. She listened to everything the doctor said and then he just pushed it back in. Now I almost lost it then. I was fine and concerned about it all, but when I saw her face change after he pushed it... whew... that was hard. I had to hold it together for her sake, but I just can't imagine. I've never broken a bone. She was one tough cookie and wanted to play later that day... and the next.
Now onto the surgery.
Kaelyn goes to her 5 year check up and her awesome doctor, Dr. Kate, immediately notices her GIANT tonsils and realizes all these patterns Kaelyn have been portraying for some time, and it all makes sense now. I had no clue that tonsils could cause so many problems, so I never noticed.
We then visit the ENT doctor and immediately he says that she needs surgery, by just listening to her breathe. I'm perfectly fine at that point and in also knowing that this could honestly help her in many ways.
After it starts sinking in... I realize how much harder it is to watch your children have surgery and hearing that they need it.
In case you didn't know... I was born with a cleft lip and palate and I've had plenty of surgeries... I don't know the exact count, but I believe its around 12... I'm really not sure anymore. In any case, its a lot. My first surgery was at 3 months. I understand surgeries very well and I've always just dealt with them with an attitude that I would be fine and conquer them.
Yet now that I know my daughter needs a surgery... that's a whole lot scarier. I'm now getting a taste of how my mom felt.
I must say that I have so much respect for my mom and what she had to go through. She's an amazing mom and woman. She has always been my rock, my best friend, and the person to show me the right way. I can't imagine how she watched her child have surgeries... I know that she must have reassured herself that it would help me, but watching your baby cry because of surgery is heartbreaking. A tiny baby can't understand why they can't eat due to surgery or why they hurt due to surgery. I agonize over such a thought and I haven't even gone through that. So to all you moms and dads who must watch your children go through countless surgeries, my heart goes out to you, because I do understand to some level what you're going through.
I pray that I never find my self in the position of watching one of my children go through an illness or countless surgeries, but I know I have support and I know have God with me to push me on.
Back to Kaelyn... She did absolutely amazing with surgery. I told my husband and my mom that she must have inherited that from me. :) She truly was a trooper.
I didn't cry at all during it. I think part of that is my instinct to not give in to tears in the midst of a scary situation. Such as... in the midst of surgeries I refused to cry most of the time, because it was pointless... it didn't help me, so I would suck it up and let the doctors do their job. I will say that I did develop a phobia of doctors when I was younger, though. When I had braces or when I go to the doctor and they have to do something that could hurt... I refuse to complain and allow them to do their job. I just breathe through it and trust God that I'm going to be ok.
I could see my self in Kaelyn. She just listened to the doctors and didn't get scared when they rolled her back. I even took a picture! and she was completely fine. When she woke up, she didn't even cry. She fussed for just a bit, but listened to everyone. By the end of the day, she was already talking and moving around a bit. The next day she was bouncing around. My girl is such a trooper and I couldn't be more proud. Thank you, Jesus, for instilling that in her, because if she had freaked out on me and was scared... I would have cried. She was amazing and on the mend.
She's doing great... a little upset that she can't eat certain foods, but she does well excepting the stuff she can eat. She upset that she has to miss school... big time. But overall, she's pretty much normal. Sore throat, but she just deals with it. :) I'm a proud mommy.
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